2024 Reflections
This week is the 3 year anniversary of this blog. 🎉 It was created in accompaniment to a newsletter that from day one I described as “semi-irregular” and true to form it’s been a couple of months since I sent something out. I have also been less present on the blog and LinkedIn, my only professional social media. On the one hand, my schedule became overwhelming. While I was good busy- working on projects I found inspiring, exciting, and motivating- it nonetheless took a toll.
Perhaps the bigger factor, I struggled with giving adequate attention to collecting and expressing my thoughts and gathering resources to share in response to the crisis in Palestine. The lack of attention in my professional community felt cold and detached. I wasn’t seeing anyone discussing what was going on on the online platforms I’m a part of and I disengaged, telling myself that focusing on the platforms and communities that I was already engaging in was where I needed to be. While I don’t think that silence was the right way to go, I knew that pushing out quick content or publishing something created months ago, without attention to the current context would be unacceptable.
It feels dissociative to celebrate a blog and newsletter milestone, or talk about inspirational new years intentions, or to tell you about all of the cool things I’m doing that are keeping me so busy while so many people are in extreme crisis, A crisis backed by *checks quickbooks* too many of my- and this company’s- own tax dollars.
And yet, it’s clear that one of the biggest lessons we’re learning is how to hold grief, hold complexities and multiple truths, sustain long-term action, build movements and new futures, all while continuing to exist and care for ourselves- not in ways that bypass or ignore, but in ways that help us continue the work. This is especially true for those of us who have more access to privilege and ability to find easier, faster, and more socially acceptable ways to check out or focus our attention away from the hard things.
In a way, it's appropriate, if not for the reasons I would like, and mirrors what I had originally been thinking about sharing for this anniversary.
When I originally started this blog I was amped on sharing evaluation resources and my own particular way of working with the craft that is focused on making evaluation as meaningful, useful, and harm-free as possible. Since then it’s evolved into share more (a lot more) about my approach to business and to life. This space has offered me a welcome creative outlet, but it’s more than a grown-up live journal for me.
Ultimately, at the end of the day, I know that my values have a profound and inseparable impact on my work. The way I do evaluation, the way I work with my clients- and my beliefs about what makes “good” evaluation, consulting, or coaching- is fused with my values- whether those values are focused on how I show up for my clients, how I conduct my business, and how I take care of myself and my community. One of my hopes, in fact, is that it inspires others to find their own groove, speak up about what is important to them, and live their truest selves.
A collage of photos that are currently offering me grounding, inspiration, and motivation. Individual image descriptions, photo credit, and accompanying links included at the end of the blog.
2022 was the year of releasing perfectionism (which, if you notice in this blog, is something I’m still working with), and 2023 turned out to be the year of ease. In the spring it was all fun, dedicating extra time to my garden and getting more sleep. But as the year wrapped up, this idea of ease and spaciousness became much more serious. It became a question of values, of what’s important, of how to spend my time when everything so clearly deserves it.
One of my biggest takeaways is how I’m making space for responsiveness. How to make sure that I am staying present and showing up the way I want to, and the way I’m being asked to. Pre-scheduled content is great, and I stand behind it as a general strategy, but it can’t be so rigidly dismissive. There’s also the importance of finding- or making- the time to show up, whether that is taking a specific action or finding the time to collect my thoughts and gather resources.
Most importantly I’m sitting with the idea of longevity. How do we build in systems so that we can be responsive when needed? How do we build our capacities for grief and complexity? How do we stay present for the long term? How can we hold it all?
In 2024 I’m leaning in to getting clear on how I can show up for the world I want to build. Right now that looks a lot like how I approach my schedule, workload, and presence. Though, I’m sure it’ll have evolved into something completely unexpected by the time the year wraps up.
Below I've shared a brief list of resources (finally) that I've found informational and grounding. I hope they do the same for you.
Resources for learning and grounding:
Practices for Care & Endurance podcast or video (both include transcripts) with adrienne maree brown, Hala Alyan, Spenta Kandawalla, Adaku Utah, Sepideh Moafi, Noor, and Layla Feghali (there was also a post-session email sent with further resources that I can forward to anyone interested)
Diary of an Empath podcast with Kereese Thompson and Katherine Bogen
Overview of South Africa’s ICJ case against Israel and link to the full document
Collage Image descriptions, credits, and links:
Art by Lubna Ali showing a watermelon with poppies growing from the seeds and 1948 written in Arabic characters. Drawing is red with black, white, and green accents on a blue background.
A photo by Motaz Azaiza, who has recently become well-known for his documentation of the genocide in Gaza and was featured as one of Time’s photos of the year. The photo I included was taken in late 2022, almost exactly a year ago, in Gaza and shows a group of children playing jump rope at sunset. A child is jumping, wearing a red shirt that mirrors red blossoms on a tree behind them.
A vintage piece of artwork from my personal collection that features a sunflower and the words “War is not healthy for children and other living things.”
A photo of my first post-birth visit to the Rocky Mountains (Ute and Arapaho land)
White text on teal background reads, “It’s not just activism, it’s our life work,” attributed to Reyes DeVore, which I heard in summer 2022 and it has since become a bit of a mantra for me.